I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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