it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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