I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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