I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize