that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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