have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize