No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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