So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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