I can't watch pbs sober anymore
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize