Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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