At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize