got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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