Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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