how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
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He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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