cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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