The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize