My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
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I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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