If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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