there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize