It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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