K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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