Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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