On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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