btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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