That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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