You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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