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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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