xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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