were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize