I think im going to throw up on grandma
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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