I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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