You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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