Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
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never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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