Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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