Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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