Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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