I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize