question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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