i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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