Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
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i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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