Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
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Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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