Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize