Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize