I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
In America we eat man semen.
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So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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