Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize