youre lurking in front of me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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