Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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