bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize