He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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