so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize